{"title":"Latest Additions and Restocks","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"416patch","title":"If You Say So 3.5\" Woven Patch","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou're here for one reason, and one reason only:\u003cbr\u003eYou would if you could, and if you can, you already have.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhatever you do, be sure to clean up after yourself, maybe apply a couple drops of extreme duty gun oil afterwards.\u003cbr\u003eHelps flush out foreign matter. Not that I'd know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eArtwork provided by \u003ca rel=\"noopener\" title=\"@metalibon\" href=\"https:\/\/x.com\/metalibon\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e@metalibon\u003c\/a\u003e, All Rights Reserved\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e3.5\", Velcro backed, Woven. Ships from L.A.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"FUCKYOURGUNS","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47004784722150,"sku":null,"price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/2767\/9206\/files\/IMG_9020.heic?v=1783568073"},{"product_id":"ump9patch","title":"She Just Wants a Family 3.5\" Woven Patch","description":"\u003cp\u003eSure, she's spent the day turning previously sentient beings, those with lovers, family members, into what looks like a mix between kebab meat and Swiss cheese; you might think this is grim, that it'd warrant walking around like Noble Six, but guess what commander?\u003cbr\u003eShe's still gonna :3 you \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eArtwork provided by \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/x.com\/metalibon\" title=\"@metalibon\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e@metalibon\u003c\/a\u003e, All Rights Reserved\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e3.5\", Velcro backed, Woven. Ships from L.A.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"FUCKYOURGUNS","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47259261337830,"sku":null,"price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/2767\/9206\/files\/IMG_9019.jpg?v=1783568033"},{"product_id":"g11patch","title":"Sneepi Beepi 3.5\" Woven Patch","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou're not in the same line of work as beepo, but it's zero dark thirty Monday morning, you last remember waking up sometime Friday, there's a mountain of empty cans around you, you're ignoring the chest pain; you've just uploaded the finished conference demo to your boss' phone, he's just landed in Paris and is heading to the ESA headquarters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour phone pings with an invite to join a vidcon.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThere's a reason this little dorky kraut resonates with you:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour boss has the demo, you did your job.\u003cbr\u003e\"I don't care that Josef Aschbacher wants to speak to me,\u003cbr\u003eIt's Nap Time.\"\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eArtwork provided by \u003ca rel=\"noopener\" title=\"@metalibon\" href=\"https:\/\/x.com\/metalibon\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e@metalibon\u003c\/a\u003e, All Rights Reserved\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e3.5\", Velcro backed, Woven. Ships from L.A.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"FUCKYOURGUNS","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47259262583014,"sku":null,"price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/2767\/9206\/files\/IMG_9018.jpg?v=1783568002"},{"product_id":"b2patch","title":"INTERNATIONAL LAW Embroidered Patch","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe best thing about living near Lancaster is all the massive billboards Northrop buys just to remind you how hard they go.\u003cbr\u003eWe can only aspire to such greatness, but if you wanna show your support for the freedom Doritos, this patch might do the trick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e3.5\", Velcro backed, Embroidered. Ships from L.A.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"FUCKYOURGUNS","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47310119633126,"sku":null,"price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/2767\/9206\/files\/IMG_7505Large.jpg?v=1769813586"},{"product_id":"ump45-patch","title":"Flat-Out Gorgeous 3x4\" Woven Patch","description":"\u003cp\u003eUsually I'd make a joke but between fans of 45, fans of HK, and.. er.. those who would not tolerate slander of the Distinguished Flying Cross, I'm sure one of you would shoot me.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOffers no ballistic protection although many consider Leva the closest thing we have to the physical embodiment of an angel so ymmv.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eArtwork provided by \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/x.com\/metalibon\" title=\"@metalibon\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e@metalibon\u003c\/a\u003e, All Rights Reserved\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e3x4\", Woven, Velcro Backed. Ships from L.A.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"FUCKYOURGUNS","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47349577842918,"sku":null,"price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/2767\/9206\/files\/IMG_7280.jpg?v=1770878172"},{"product_id":"416-sticker","title":"If You Say So 3\" Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou're here for one reason, and one reason only:\u003cbr\u003eYou would if you could, and if you can, you already have.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhatever you do, be sure to clean up after yourself, maybe apply a couple drops of extreme duty gun oil afterwards.\u003cbr\u003eHelps flush out foreign matter. Not that I'd know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eArtwork provided by \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/x.com\/metalibon\" title=\"@metalibon\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e@metalibon\u003c\/a\u003e, All Rights Reserved\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e3\", Transparent Sticker. Ships from L.A. Doro not included.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"FUCKYOURGUNS","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47349669757158,"sku":null,"price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/2767\/9206\/files\/IMG_7287.jpg?v=1770883087"},{"product_id":"b2sticker","title":"INTERNATIONAL LAW 3\" Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe best thing about living near Lancaster is all the massive billboards Northrop buys just to remind you how hard they go.\u003cbr\u003eWe can only aspire to such greatness, but if you wanna show your support for the freedom Doritos, this patch might do the trick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e3\", Die-cut Sticker. Ships from L.A.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"FUCKYOURGUNS","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47349716975846,"sku":null,"price":4.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/2767\/9206\/files\/IMG_7289.jpg?v=1770883035"},{"product_id":"416-bundle","title":"If You Say So Patch and Sticker Bundle","description":"\u003cp\u003eBundled together for those who want both!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou're here for one reason, and one reason only:\u003cbr\u003eYou would if you could, and if you can, you already have.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhatever you do, be sure to clean up after yourself, maybe apply a couple drops of extreme duty gun oil afterwards.\u003cbr\u003eHelps flush out foreign matter. Not that I'd know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eArtwork provided by \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/x.com\/metalibon\" title=\"@metalibon\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e@metalibon\u003c\/a\u003e, All Rights Reserved\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePatch: 3.5\", Velcro backed, Woven. Ships from L.A.\u003cbr\u003eSticker: 3\", Transparent Sticker. Ships from L.A.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"FUCKYOURGUNS","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47349776646374,"sku":null,"price":16.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/2767\/9206\/files\/IMG_9025.jpg?v=1783566866"},{"product_id":"kompromisse-patch","title":"kompromisse krauts (Quality Control Reject Patches)","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome things in life are special. Especially Raifus.\u003cbr\u003eSpecial enough that, when you order a patch of your beloved, I want to ensure what you receive is of the absolute highest quality, free from any imperfections or defects (because we all know your raifu is perfect)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAs such, certain manufacturing runs were rejected, any patches with notable defects are put aside during order fulfilment. Thus, I have now amassed something of a collection of these perfectly imperfect patches.\u003cbr\u003eI haven't the heart to throw them out, but if you would like an extra-special patch, you can order one here.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThere are two options: Random, or Misprint 416.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRandom\u003c\/strong\u003e: You will get a patch at random, from those I noticed blemishes or imperfections on during fulfilment.\u003cbr\u003eThis could be a misalignment, misprint, stray threads, or other blemish.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMisprint\u003c\/strong\u003e 416: you will get a 416\/Kluk patch from a manufacturing run that looks like kluk's been bathing in Conversion Gel from Portal 2. We have hundreds of these.\u003cbr\u003eHey, they're an interesting take on the patch, slightly lighter look, maybe you're into that.\u003cbr\u003e(I tried tying in a Cave Johnson moonrocks joke here but gave up. Like said moonrocks, these cost a fortune and the tax man wants to know what happened to them, so here we are. No physical defects, just worried 416's gonna get cancelled for a culturally insensitive geisha cosplay)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNote:\u003c\/strong\u003e If you just really want something that's out of stock (eg G11\/Mechty) we will be restocking everything in the coming weeks, send us an email and I'll let you know when the patch is back in stock; you have a better chance of getting what you want that way\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"FUCKYOURGUNS","offers":[{"title":"Random","offer_id":47349841199334,"sku":null,"price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Misprint 416","offer_id":47349841232102,"sku":null,"price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/2767\/9206\/files\/IMG_7294.jpg?v=1770885837"},{"product_id":"mp7-patch","title":"Ei!xplosion (Patch)","description":"\u003cp\u003eTiny, loud, undeniably sweet.\u003cbr\u003eI don't know if we're talking about Cheetah or \u003cspan\u003enitroglycerin, but I have half an idea what her lollipops are made out of.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable as a sticker or patch, and if you want both, you can get a discount \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/fuckyourguns.com\/products\/mp7-bundle\" title=\"MP7 Bundle (Patch \u0026amp; Sticker)\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e, Commander.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"UTF-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePatch: 3.5x3.5\", Woven, Velcro Backed. Ships from L.A.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eArtwork provided by \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener\" title=\"@metalibon\" href=\"https:\/\/x.com\/metalibon\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e@metalibon\u003c\/a\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, All Rights Reserved\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u0026gt;Cheetas's frame is canonically 4'10\u003cbr\u003eyeah I'm gonna pop that lol-[burst of submachine gun fire rings throughout the office]\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"FUCKYOURGUNS","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47509154693350,"sku":null,"price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/2767\/9206\/files\/E2Smol.png?v=1775241403"},{"product_id":"404-bundle","title":"404 Sisters Patch Collection","description":"\u003cp\u003eThese lovely ladies get along like desert sand, metallic confetti, and burned-out lubricant in the transmission of a prestigious German automobile, but much like my shitbox BMW, somehow the abrasive, aggregate, and dry-running all cancel each other out, and what you're left with is a seemingly unstoppable, formidable force of nature (before the entire thing detonates, that is)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFourteen thousand fucking dollars to replace the e-machine? SERIOUSLY?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWell, let's hope these patches sell. Daddy wants a downpayment for a Maverick.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eArtwork provided by \u003ca rel=\"noopener\" title=\"@metalibon\" href=\"https:\/\/x.com\/metalibon\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e@metalibon\u003c\/a\u003e, All Rights Reserved\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e3.5\" Circular Patches, Velcro backed, Woven. Ships from L.A.\u003cbr\u003e3x4\" Plate Patch, Woven, Velcro Backed. Ships from L.A.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"FUCKYOURGUNS","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47963504017638,"sku":null,"price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/2767\/9206\/files\/404-bundle.jpg?v=1783568625"},{"product_id":"ifc-patch","title":"\"I FUCK CLANKERS\" Woven Patch","description":"\u003cp\u003ePeople often ask me \"Mr gunfucker, clearly you need no introduction, however, how are the rest of us supposed to share our carnal affinity for that which may still require oil-based lubricants, but either petroleum-derived or synthetic, rather than coconut-based?\"\u003cbr\u003eI stand here not as your leader, but as a humble gunfucker among gunfuckers, and I shall not answer, instead, I shall ask you this:\u003cbr\u003e\"Did I name this store \"I fuck guns\"? Or did I name it based on a simple command, for You, to fuck YOUR guns?\"\u003cbr\u003eTruly, I may fuck cankers, but that makes me nothing more than a man with passion, hobbies, and ambition.\u003cbr\u003eWhat makes us all part of a community is the fact that WE fuck clunkers, that WE fuck guns, and no-one should ever feel ashamed for being true to ourselves!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eArtwork by Universal Maxima, All Rights Reserved\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e3.5\"x1.1\", Velcro backed, Woven. Ships from L.A.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"FUCKYOURGUNS","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47963641577702,"sku":null,"price":10.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/2767\/9206\/files\/IFC_HERO_9f5069df-5b09-4404-b936-c06a26351a83.jpg?v=1783569910"},{"product_id":"robosexual-patch","title":"Robosexual Pride Woven Patch","description":"\u003cp\u003eIt was late at night, going through old memes, and I came across \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/2767\/9206\/files\/WhatIsSheReading.jpg?v=1783570915\"\u003eUMP9 Reading Something Conspicuous\u003c\/a\u003e, the logo on the cover gave me pause for thought.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps if you ever caught Nixie in her room reading something embarrassing, it may have a logo on it a little something like this.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eArtwork by Universal Maxima, All Rights Reserved\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e3.5\"x3.2\", Velcro backed, Woven. Ships from L.A.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"FUCKYOURGUNS","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47963732672742,"sku":null,"price":10.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/2767\/9206\/files\/gfk-patch_hero.jpg?v=1783571708"},{"product_id":"robosexual-sticker","title":"Robosexual Pride Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eIt was late at night, going through old memes, and I came across \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/2767\/9206\/files\/WhatIsSheReading.jpg?v=1783570915\"\u003eUMP9 Reading Something Conspicuous\u003c\/a\u003e, the logo on the cover gave me pause for thought.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerhaps if you ever caught Nixie in her room reading something embarrassing, it may have a logo on it a little something like this.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eArtwork by Universal Maxima, All Rights Reserved\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e3\", Die-cut Sticker, Reflective Border. Ships from L.A.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"FUCKYOURGUNS","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47963757805798,"sku":null,"price":6.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/2767\/9206\/files\/GFK_STIC_HERO.jpg?v=1783573300"},{"product_id":"robosexual-bundle","title":"Robosexual Patch and Sticker Bundle","description":"\u003cp\u003eMaybe you'd like to hint, or perhaps just tell people directly.\u003cbr\u003eSneak a sticker onto a piece of military equipment worth more than the annual income and organs of everyone in your hometown, so everyone else who ever has to use it knows you didn't goon \u003cem\u003ein\u003c\/em\u003e it, you gooned \u003cem\u003eto\u003c\/em\u003e it (possibly while also in it).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eArtwork by Universal Maxima, All Rights Reserved\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI Fuck Clankers Patch: 3.5\"x1.1\", Velcro backed, Woven.\u003cbr\u003eRobosexual Patch: 3.5\"x3.2\", Velcro backed, Woven.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eRobosexual Sticker: 3\", Die-cut Sticker, Reflective Border.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eShips from LA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"FUCKYOURGUNS","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47963782840550,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/2767\/9206\/files\/IMG_9017.jpg?v=1783573843"}],"url":"https:\/\/fuckyourguns.com\/collections\/latest-additions-and-restocks.oembed","provider":"FUCKYOURGUNS","version":"1.0","type":"link"}